Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am available for nakedness
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
