Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
