So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
