dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
