whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
