Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Randomize
