Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
