I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
