omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
