I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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