I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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