i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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