Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
