Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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