If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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