Where is the hickey?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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