you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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