He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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