dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
