Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
