Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
