Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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