You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
