puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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