I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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