I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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