We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
