Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
