I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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