ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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