you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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