For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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