The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
