omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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