My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
