I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
