dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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