I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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