I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
