I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
