This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
