You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
When are your genitals available?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
