the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
