New low: just hacked my moms facebook
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
