Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
organizing the empties. That sober.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
