Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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