Girls should come with a carfax report
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
