I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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