We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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