I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
