I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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