We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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