just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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