I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
