you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
