He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
