she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
