I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize