8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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