Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
