I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will be naked everywhere
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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