I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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