I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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